Premonition
by freakochicko
Summary: Occurs just before the movie. Inara and Book have both just left the ship. One day, River has a nightmare and awakens in her room, screaming in pain. She foresees the death of Wash. But she doesn’t even know it. ONESHOT.


**Premonition **

She awakes to the sound of screaming, so much screaming, and she sits up in her makeshift bed, her head in agonizing torment. Screams echo around the room like a whirlwind of desolation and despair and she is afraid that she might go deaf. Things register in her mind that she hardly comprehends, but she feels the pain that is, right at the moment, coursing through her body from just below her chest, and up to her brain. Images flash before her eyes that don't make sense—a rainstorm of death and spaceships and leaves of every color. Red and black and red and black.

And that was when she realizes that the screams were coming from her own mouth.

And even then, she doesn't stop screaming until they all come running into her room. She hasn't woken up screaming like this for days and weeks now, and seeing the stricken and alarmed face of her brother as he runs to her side is more than she can bear. And she doesn't want him to worry because he always does. But her brain tells her not to listen to reason and she starts to sob.

"River! River… What's – what's…? River!" Simon is frantic as he tries his best to calm the hysterical girl down. Mal only stands in the sidelines between an anxious Kaylee and a stoic Zoe—who had come running in here only to see if anyone was being assaulted—and the captain ruffles his hair in unhidden frustration as he looks on at the doctor and his distraught sister.

Jayne comes barreling in seconds later, with a gun in one hand and his knife in the other. His face falls when he realizes that nothing out of the ordinary is going on.

Simon sits next to River on the bed and throws her bed covers off her and embraces her even though she is now sprouting incoherent words in between her quiet sobbing. She doesn't respond to the hug but she stops shaking and calms down slightly. Only just slightly.

"Was there screaming? Why did I hear screaming? Did she scream?" Jayne asks almost unsympathetically, or at least as unsympathetically as he can manage.

Zoe shoots the mercenary a sharp look and Jayne shuts up.

River feels her body tense for a split second and another spasm of pain erupts through her. But she bites back the scream. Bites it back and bites her bottom lip until it hurt as well.

"River… Mei-mei," the doctor tries again, seeing her frenetic state subside somewhat. "What's wrong. Why did you scream? Is something… something wrong?"

River pants, breathes heavily, and she pulls back from Simon's grip with surprising strength that was never there. And she collapses onto her back, lying on her bed and staring up into the ceiling.

She doesn't respond immediately, and only after she hears Kaylee's quiet voice of _is she okay?_ does she open her mouth to whisper anything.

"Pain. So much pain… It… hurts… It hurts so… much."

Mal frowns. _Hurts?_ He glances at Zoe, who only looks back solemnly. Simon is frantic again and he tries to pull River up into a sitting position, but she refuses and winces as though in real pain.

"It hurts? What hurts? River!" Simon says, trying hard not to shriek. He always fails to keep his emotions in check when it came to River. Always worried. Always anxious. Always. Always. "River… Are - are you injured? Are you _hurt_?"

She shakes her head weakly, still staring up into the ceiling with big, horrified eyes.

"Not. Not… hurt. Not me. The pain. The suffering…" She squeezes her eyes tight as though making a mental image of the pain and the suffering that she knows doesn't belong to her but she's feeling nonetheless. "Not my pain. It is not… not mine. _Not mine_," she mutters, voice intense so that everyone in the room hears it.

"Not hers?" Mal questions, slightly disturbed.

Simon ignores him. "River. You're in pain, aren't you?"

River chokes back a sudden sob and she screams. "Not mine! _NOT MINE!_ And I cannot make it _go away_."

Kaylee and Jayne both jump at her outburst.

"If not yours, then whose?" Simon asks quickly, his eyes darting behind him where the others stood.

River is silent, but her sobbing doesn't cease, nor does it intensify.

"River?" Simon's voice is cautious.

"Hoban," she finally says, quietly, head lolling to the side and facing the wall as though she had just crawled into an imaginary space of solitude. That one single word. "Hoban, Hoban, Hoban…"

"What?" Simon is confused, and no one notices that Zoe's expression has changed.

"_Hoban!_" River half-screams, half-whispers, and she repeats the word over and over again, this time in uneven, guttural murmurs. _Hoban, Hoban, Hoban…_

Simon looks back at the people standing behind him at the doorway, looking helpless and lost for words.

"Hoban? What the hell is a Hoban?" Jayne asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"Wash," Mal explains, as though it were all he needed to say to make Jayne understand.

"Oh. Right, right. _Hoban_," Jayne nods, but a frown is plastered on his face. It isn't like he knows the pilot's full name.

Simon looks back at River. "Is - is Wash… Wash is in pain?"

But River doesn't answer with a yes or a no. She grips her strewn bed sheets with her fists and turns her head sharply to look into her brother's eyes, but not seeing them before her—as though she wants him to get her message but she just doesn't know how to get it across.

"Evergreen whispers, the leaves turn brown. Stakes of metal, the wind dies down," she mutters. "Evergreen whispers… leaves turn brown. Stakes of metal… the wind… dies down…" she repeats, more softly.

"There she goes with those riddles of hers again," Jayne drawls, but his usual expression of scorn isn't there.

"River," Simon starts again, trying to block out the noises around him. "What are you trying to say?"

"Stakes of metal. Stakes of metal. Leaves—brown. Wind—dies… down," she says, louder this time. But she sounds like she's losing concentration. "Watch me. W-watch how I…" she shudders all of a sudden and lets loose another short scream, clutching at her abdomen, nails raking at her clothes. Her face is contorted with pain and grief and something else.

"Oh my god. You _are_ in pain, aren't you?" Simon whispers in trepidation and tries to lift her head with his arms.

"It's not _my_ pain!" she shouts again, clawing at the air now. "Stakes of metal. Brown of leaves. Dead of wind. Burning, _burning_, washing, washing, _Hoban_."

The pain within her recedes and she becomes limp and restless.

Mal and Zoe and Kaylee are giving each other apprehensive looks

_Burning. Washing. Washburne? _

Jayne isn't bothered with any of this and toys with his gun after pocketing his knife.

"What's this about Wash?" Zoe's voice reverberates through the room.

Simon repeats the question to River and the reactions he gets from this is one that he doesn't expect.

"Doesn't…" River murmurs in reply, facing the wall once again. Her voice sounds almost normal to Simon. "Don't… talk. I don't…" She shakes her head as her voice trails away into silence, before it comes back strong again. "Doesn't talk…" she says simply.

And her body suddenly becomes still and motionless, an epitome of tranquility—as though nothing of what had happened to her actually happened at all.

"She's… asleep," Simon says, a little surprised. "She fell asleep."

"Huh," Mal grunts.

Simon takes awhile to stand. When he finally does, he looks down at his sister for a few moments before pulling the covers over her again and leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

"What do you think she meant by all that?" Zoe questions, "All the _'I don't talk'_ stuff that she said. After you asked about Wash."

"Probably means just that," Jayne replies involuntarily, "I mean, I ain't never seen that girl talk to Wash."

"She probably has," Kaylee says, "Oh, I don't know."

"Right. Okay," Mal interrupts, "I think we should leave the princess alone to her beauty sleep."

There is a murmur of agreement and the room is empty within moments, save for Simon and River.

The doctor sighs once and looks over at his sister's unmoving body with a visible frown.

"I'm sorry, River. I just wish I could help you…" he whispers, before exiting the room quietly.

River's hand twitches just after he leaves. But she doesn't know this. Her mind is in a black abyss now. And she doesn't try to climb out.

"_I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."_

---

_-A/N-: This was my very first Firefly/Serenity fanfic._

_And yes. Before you ask, Wash was indeed piloting the ship whilst everyone rushed into River's room. Thus explaining his absence._

_PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW._


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